It was here that I chose to begin.
To come out of my shell, to let my guard down - if only a little at a time.
I’ve always seen women, other women, as these sensual, feminine, soft beings, but never thought of myself that way.
I’d look (or I looked) at other women and thought that it came so easily and naturally to them - to embrace this softness that was their birthright.
They just knew how.
They knew how to slow down, to flow through life, to receive and accept instead of pushing or striving.
I always felt like I somehow got it wrong - being a woman. In that I was constantly pushing my way through life, which felt like so much force and effort - and such a masculine trait.
And often I wondered how other women did it, let life come so easily to them, so naturally.
I’ve always held that rushed, frenzied pace of life, and I longed for something else.
I longed for time, where I could slow down and actually plan things out and let things unfold, and have the space to create & manifest what I truly wanted in this life.
What I found on the opposite side of my frenzied pace was something much different than I expected.
It was a time of healing. Because as I slowed down - my mind and my body and my spirit signalled to me what it had been waiting for all along.
For me to slow down and process this life, to make myself and my care a priority (against everything else) and to understand I could be soft if I chose to be.
I could slow down if I wanted to.
I could be whom I’ve always wanted to be - if I just let myself.
And it’s from here - this space - where I’ve had to relearn a whole new identity of myself (my self), one that looks and feels sensual, feminine, and that also feels like me - like a coming home to myself, that I’ve waited for and searched for, for all these years.
In Grace & Peace,